Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with evils, cause misery, and other problems. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, funds, age difference, faith upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discteet married dating.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody can switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, very big truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your assets are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed distantly, our relulas interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.